January 23, 2011

Quotes for the New Year

This New Years has been off to an amazing roller coaster already.  Between discovering my disappointing Grade Point Average (GPA) and hearing the news that I have to resign from Student Government, I do not know what else can go wrong. I was excited for the New Year to arrive because in my naive and simple mind, I thought that the problems that existed before would no longer exist. Silly me...I should have known better. And some part of me knew that the problems I had would not automatically disappear but I wanted my fairy tale to be so real and true. (sighs) Fooled me.

A good thing that I discovered was that I got accepted into a conference that is taking place in California this year. I am super excited because this is a conference that I have heard has made a huge impact on other students life. So, without high hopes, I hope the same happens to me. I want a wake up call. From what, you may wonder? I DONT KNOW!  But a change definitely needs to happen. I want to discover what I have lost in the last few months and what I have gained. I know that this discovery is not going to happen on my own but I want to surround myself around people who know and care about me. So, this journey of self realization can happen a bit smoother than it has been going.

The song that is playing on my computer now is Photographs by Rihanna and it is quite depressing. I do not want to look at only what I have from my past. I want to see an honest future. But when I  am pushed against a wall, I am forced to be selfish and defensive. I refuse to be in any friendship or relationship or encounter where I feel like I have to behave that way.This blog is a little spiel that is helping me be a bit more genuine to myself and to others. Bri Bri said to me today  that I can not have a honest relationship with her, if I can not have an honest relationship with other people. How legit is that? My relationship with other people reflect how my relationship is going to be with her...when I first heard it, I agreed with her. But now after thinking  it over, I do not know if there is such a  strong correlation between my relationship with her and my relationship with other people...hmmmm...

Quote of the day" I am tired of running, let's walk for a minute." by Nelly Furtado in Promiscious Girl

1 comment:

  1. i dont understand the last part but ...also proud of you about the conference...

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